How to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

Jealousy Is Ruining Your Relationship. Here's How To Stop - mindbodygreen

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

How To Overcome Insecurity In A Relationship? Insecurity can be the beginning of a host of other. You can learn to stop the sinking feeling of insecurity and regain your sense The actions that come from insecurity—always asking for reassurance, jealousy, . I've rounded up some tips for being less jealous in your relationship in case If it's eating you up inside, let's talk about some ways to stop it. feelings of jealously in a relationship are our own insecurities — and this could.

What you can do is find a middle-ground that makes you feel better without demanding that they change their behaviors entirely. Sometimes our friends or partners do nothing to make us jealous. It all comes from within our minds. You might find yourself resenting a close friend for no reason other than your own insecurities.

You might find yourself disliking your friendeven though you love them, because they represent the things that you want in your own life. This is natural, and most of us are drawn to people who we see as aspirational. This might mean sitting down with your partner and planning out a way to make sure you feel secure. Remember that this stage is hard…. But you can do it, and you will. And however impossible it seems, you will feel better. You feel jealous of how close your partner is to someone else because you love them so much and want them all to yourself.

This is unrealistic, of course, but you can still think of the positives — they are with you and they want to be with you. Fear makes for feelings of insecurity.

When fear lessens, so does jealousy. More than feelings of fear, jealousy also leads to a smorgasbord of other emotions such as anger, hate of love 'rivals', disgust sometimes self-disgustand hopelessness.

So why might a person be jealous?

7 Tips for Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships

Kevin's ex-wife had cheated on him and he felt he'd never got over this. We're told it's great to have 'a good imagination', but he was using his to torment himself.

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

Of course, if your partner is continually sexually active with other people, then jealousy is totally justified. And perhaps the whole relationship needs to be re-evaluated. But here I want to focus on helping you if you feel unduly jealous that's to say, there is no real or proper evidence that your partner is or has been unfaithful to you.

How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship

These tips also focus on sexual jealousy rather than, say, being jealous of the amount of time your partner spends with their mother or kids. So how can we start to break the jealousy cycle, reclaim self-control, and stop driving our partners and ourselves crazy? Yes, take them at their word. If they do lie to you, then they are not making a fool out of anyone but themselves - remember that.

It's been said that trust is the cornerstone of any relationship. It's very insulting for your partner to have you always doubting their word or decency of behaviour.

Constant questioning by you can even be as destructive as having an affair in the long run.


You'll still distrust your partner for a while out of sheer habitbut find the strength to start acting as if you believe them. If you've been checking that they really were where they said they've been, then stop doing that. When they tell you they love you, believe them.

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

Save 2 Easier said than done, but stop comparing yourself to others Some not all jealousy is driven by low self-esteem. I don't understand how someone like them could be attracted to someone like me! Does the Mona Lisa painting know why it is so valuable? Of course, you may be able to appreciate attractive qualities in yourself, but consider this: There are better looking, richer, funnier, smarter, younger people around than just about all of us, but these are qualities of a 'product'.

If he or she loves you, it will be because of an extra, indefinable quality you have that they couldn't even explain - some deep part of your humanity they connected to which transcends looks, youth, wealth, and so forth.

Some of the most loved people in history have been well down the list when it comes to looks or wealth. Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly like you.

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property.

How To Stop Being Jealous In A Relationship

And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person. Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt. But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded. To love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them.

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

Sounds like it, you might think and I do have my momentsbut hear me out. Anger, fear, and jealousy drive out love; and love needs a strong dash of fearlessness to flourish. Okay, so you fear losing your loved one to someone else and possibly fear how this will make you feel about yourself. If you must keep using your imagination, use it to imagine the 'worst' happening and you still being okay; not just surviving, but thriving in this imagined scenario.

Fantasize about how well you'd react, how whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Write down 10 positive ways you'd like to respond and how you'd build your life up even better if this relationship were to end. Fear is much greater when we feel that 'all our eggs are in one basket'. Don't build your whole life around any one person.

But don't leave this list lying around to be found by your partner, as this may start them feeling insecure. People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous. Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run.

how to stop being jealous and insecure in a relationship

This isn't to say you have to pretend that no other attractive people exist in the world, but you can acknowledge this without using it as relationship ammunition. If your partner is ever unfaithful to you, that is a reflection of them, not you; and if this were to occur, it's better that they don't have the 'ammo' to turn around and say: Because you were always flirting outrageously with the auto repair man girl who works in the bar The imagination is great Stephen King has a stellar career from making stuff up and writing about it.