Secret and lies kills relationship counseling

Secrets and Lies Kill Relationships. No Matter How Careful You Are, | Marriage Quotes

secret and lies kills relationship counseling

Whether it is keeping secrets or telling a little white lie, lying destroys one of the fundamental pillars of a healthy relationship — trust. Whether. Discover the real dangers of lies in marriage in this Bible Study. attention of Egyptian rulers who wouldn't hesitate to kill Abram to get his wife. by bestselling writers, marriage therapists, and pastors – cover many topics. Deception can be even more damaging to a relationship than infidelity. agreements and lies, secrets and circumstances of a stranger's affair, but our fascination to a study published in Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy. . she said so much lies to me which i digested. but what killed my trust for her was.

secret and lies kills relationship counseling

Infidelity is inarguably prevalent, yet it is extensively frowned upon. Given this discrepancy, it is important for every couple to address how they are going to approach the subject of fidelity and to examine the level of honesty and openness in their relationship.

Relationship Problems: Keeping Secrets and Telling Lies - Antonio Borrello

I declined answering the question, for one simple reason: Since when did lying become okay? Two adults can agree to whatever terms of a relationship they like, but the hidden violation of the agreement is what makes an act a betrayal and an affair unethical. In the book Sex and Love in Intimate RelationshipsI cited extensive research on the subject of infidelity and posed the following: Deception may be the most damaging aspect of infidelity.

secret and lies kills relationship counseling

Deception and lies shatter the reality of others, eroding their belief in the veracity of their perceptions and subjective experience. As kids, we are taught that it is wrong to lie; yet as we get older, the lines tend to become increasingly blurred. This is especially the case when we are faced with the challenging conditions that come with intimate relationships.

The Danger of Lies in Marriage and Relationships

When this happens, jealousy, possessiveness insecurity and distrust can cause us to warp and misuse our relationships. An example of this might be a woman whose boyfriend gets so jealous that he forbids her to be alone with other men. Another example may be a man whose partner feels so insecure that she demands to be constantly reassured of his love and attraction to her.

This type of restrictive situation can become a hotbed for dishonesty. The woman may lie about time alone she spent with a male friend or co-worker, or the man may lie about an attraction he is starting to feel for another woman. When we treat our partners with respect and honesty, we are true not only to them but to ourselves.

secret and lies kills relationship counseling

We can make decisions about our lives and our actions without compromising our integrity or acting on a sense of guilt or obligation.

When we restrict our partners, we can compromise their sense of vitality, and we inadvertently set the stage for deception. So it was with Abram and Sarai. Famine in the land put them into crisis: So the couple relocated to Egypt to find food. But Abram made some poor choices there.

So Abram told his wife to say she was his sister.

secret and lies kills relationship counseling

After all, it was partly true; Sarai was his half sister see Genesis And Abram did need to survive for the covenant promises of God to come true, right? According to the prevailing pattern for women in that era, Sarai had no say about the arrangement. But how do you think she felt about a husband who feared more for his own skin than for hers? That kind of betrayal can drive a wedge between a couple that only widens over time.

But God rescued Sarai out of that difficult situation by afflicting Pharaoh and his family with such serious diseases that Sarai was sent back to her husband—and Abram even got to keep the livestock and servants he had acquired in the process.

Deception and the Destruction of Your Relationship

Some years later, Abram once more passed off his wife as his sister, this time to Abimelek, the king of Gerar see Genesis So one wrong left unresolved between a couple only succeeded in perpetuating the abuse, threatening the very calling of Abram to be the father of many nations.

The poor choices that Abram made affected his marriage and his future. To deal with poor choices, own up to any misuse or disrespect of each other. Deal openly and quickly with the sin; come clean with each other and the Lord, and ask each other and God for forgiveness.

  • Deception Destroys Trust in Marriage

Then resolve not to repeat the offense. Questions for Discussion 1. Did Abram actually lie about his relationship with Sarai? Do we tell half-truths today? Think about this scenario: Someone you know calls and your spouse answers the phone. What do you ask them to say? Has our culture downplayed the telling of half-truths? What do we call them today?