Why travel is the ultimate test of a relationship
Ultimate Relationship Test - This relationship assessment will reveal to you what stage you're at in your relationship. Find out what it reveals!. The Ultimate Test For a Healthy Relationship. I discuss the ways to determine whether you're in a good relationship. And if you find you're not. Nothing puts a relationship through its paces quite like how you and your loved one handle adversity when you travel together. Can you and.
We skied the Alps, slept in yurts in Mongolia, traveled by train and worked at Gandhi's former ashram in India. We drank too much wine and absinthe in Spain, haggled over a rug in Marrakech, scrambled along the Great Wall of China and made secret, separate wishes for betrothal in a famous well at Macbeth's castle. Travel hurt our relationship "Travel is like love: It cracks you open, and so pushes you over the walls and low horizons that habits and defensiveness set up," wrote the travel writer's travel writer, Pico Iyer.
Our isolation, plus the invigorating challenges that uncharted travel brings, was an effective vetting process for our relationship. That's what Bill Murray was getting at. Travel and being together nearly every day for a year let us kick the tires and check under the hood before buying. We appreciated and appraised each other in situations we probably wouldn't have faced had we stayed in San Francisco: We laughed as he drove off and we realized what happened and then hopped on a random double-decker bus to a Tube station.
We were simply two young Americans without a fixed address or a dedicated itinerary for months on end, having the best time of our lives.
Until we had one of the worst. Near death experience The adventure took a dramatic turn after a car accident in Poland. Courtesy David Allan We rarely drove at night. Waking up each morning and deciding what we wanted to do that day meant we never had to hurry.
But on the day of the accident we had a planned rendezvous the next morning with friends in Krakow to visit the Auschwitz concentration camp together. The drive from Vienna took longer than we thought.
Kate anticipated the accident seconds before impact -- not even enough time for an audible warning. We were in the fast lane but the driver who hit us was in the middle lane and driving faster.
He would have passed us on the right except for a slow truck in his lane, which he didn't see until he nearly rear-ended it.
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We later learned he was texting on a cell phone. He looked up just before hitting the truck and jumped into our lane and hit us instead. He slammed our little black Citroen hatchback on the right, which was the driver's side because it was British-born. Once hit, I couldn't hold the steering wheel straight. We ricocheted off the barrier and spun degrees across three lanes of highway. We even passed in front of the unhurried truck driver that, in a Rube Goldberg way, had set off the accident.
In the universally accepted slow motion effect of near death experience, I recalled thinking that if another car hit us we would be killed. In those few seconds Kate gripped my shoulders and tried to pull us toward the middle of the vehicle to lessen the corporeal damage of another collision. Related content Lonely Planet names Europe's best destinations for Instead of another hit we literally flew off the highway, over an embankment and through a fence.
There was an elevator-dip-in-your-gut, Wile E Coyote fall as the car went airborne for a long moment, then landed with a sickening metallic crunch before tobogganing another 20 feet in the snow. In the silence, we looked at one another and asked if we were ok. And then we stumbled in a daze amid our belongings -- strewn about the field like a haphazard yard sale from an unplanned eviction.
Kate's glasses were in the snow. Our backpacks catapulted more than 10 feet away. Windows were shattered, a tire was depilated of its rubber, the front bumper and lights were ripped off. The engine was seemingly untethered in the center of a crunched hood. Only we were left intact. The one she dumped on a holiday and came back. What wrong could've happened at a beach resort in Maldives, right?
Apparently, they were just not compatible enough. Not enough to take a holiday together at least. And that was just not acceptable to her.
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Yes, there is such a thing as compatible enough for a holiday. If you've wondered whether the person you're dating is worth the long haul, the best way to find out is certainly taking a trip together. If a couple can survive a holiday together, it can survive anything in the world!
There's something about a holiday that brings out our most basic, naked self. Waking up late, having an extra cup of coffee and lying around in messy, almost-there clothing, a holiday is when we really do what we actually want to do. There's no everyday discipline, no mundane chores we hate doing but have to.
We're not rushing to get ready to head to work, not trying to eat healthy and work out regularly and not making an effort to look our best for both work and post-work scenes. Basically, we're our most normal, natural self. Something we're not when we're living in the city, going about our lives. We're not trying to do anything. Not looking at impressing anyone.
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Not even our love interests. A holiday is where our true instincts come out. And therefore, it's the best way to find out if our instincts gel well with those of our partner's. It's the same with even friendship. Sitting at bars, downing shots by the dozen, it's easy to maintain vows of friendship.
Everyone decides to meet at a common place and comes dressed to the dime. There's not much scope to chat as the music has overtaken every conversation. All you need to do is exchange pleasantries, click selfies and have a good time.
The only time you really chat with a friend is over phone. Or rather, on WhatsApp.
Even here, since both parties are in their comfort zones without each other, it's easy to have a heart to heart. You don't have to put up with someone's quirks and deal with their mess, literally.
Naturally, we all love our friends. We love them till we take a holiday with them. Because on a holiday, you're with them 24x7. Just you and your friends, stuck on a remote island, unknown city or something like that. Will you guys run out of conversation? That's what will decide just how good you are as friends! Chilling with someone is different than living with someone.
No, this is isn't about live-in relationships. It's about really, actually spending time with someone. That kind of time that isn't divided between work, family and friends. The kind of time that isn't running out fast enough. The kind where you're just with your partner or friend. Where there is no where else to go. No one else to talk to. Nothing else to do. Focused, undivided, singularly-attentive time. The sort that truly tests your bond. Because while living in different places in the city, it's easy to pretend, you can't really do that when you're together on a vacation.
There's a reason why, after a certain age, we start hating family holidays, right? Because there's a lot we can't do in front of our parents!
A holiday may seem relaxing but brings out the beast in all of us. Firstly, there's tons and tons of planning.